"You don't get a second chance for a first impression"- Unknown
Ok, while this makes sense, does it really justify not liking someone you hardly know? I can see it's validity for like a job interview or something where there are a lot of applicants and you may have to play "cut throat" but in general, I'm not ok with this...
Here's what I mean : Have you ever met someone who just looked/talked creepy? mean? too nice? annoying? crazy? etc? at first meet?
SO I've met a lot of people, like out at the bars, or just in a grocery store that I think look creepy, they just rub me the wrong way and I think I should stay away from them... Not sure if that's the "right" thing, but instincts come into play sometimes, and maybe we should listen to them...
But here's what bugs me. Someone new comes into our life, and we judge them based off of our first impression... whether it's a guy/girl your friend/family member is dating, a new friend of a friend, a new person to our work environment, etc. If they are too nice, too short, too tall, bald, hair too long, piercings, tattoos, too old, too young.... we somehow find a way to classify them and justify our ill or even good feelings towards them...
How can you tell the true character of a person by only one meet, be it 5 seconds or 5 minutes... especially when they don't even say a word...
I guess my point of this is that we are so quick to try and fit people into a category at first meeting, or come up with something we can say about them before we even try to get to know them better. I've recently done this and it turns out this girl was way cool... Yeah we're really different, can't be "best friends" BUT at least I'm not out there talkin crap about someone I hardly know because she would give me the "stink eye" which was just her face of insecurity, or being uncomfortable... sometimes people can be jealous or intimidated with the way YOU carry yourself, but if you just open up to them, then maybe they'll open up to you, and you may learn you have some things in common, or maybe they are your next best friend, or maybe you just learn something about them that makes you not think poorly of them anymore.
May seem like I care too much, but I see so much hurt and talking crap about people, people who need to be loved, just like you and I.
It's just a thought, but what if we all gave each other a second, or third chance at a first impression? What if before we comment about someone, we say "this was my initial reaction (if you must) but I'd really like to get to know them better...." And MAYBE we don't need to get to know everyone better, but we probably should before we speak poorly of them.
This blog is kind of vague and broad, but I'd love to hear peoples thoughts. Yeah, we're all going to fail from time to time, yeah we're going to listen to our initial instincts sometimes, but don't you think we should all make an effort to get to know people better? No, we can't be great friends with everyone, but we can show love to everyone (whole other blog ;P)...
What if you were to make a wrong 1st impression because you were having a bad day, got some bad news OR you were overly happy because you got great news or lack of sleep Or you just got your hair cut and/or dyed, or have fake nails, did your maekup a certain way, wore a certain outfit? Just doesn't seem right that someone would put you in a box or make up their mind about you right then and there...
On another similar note... People can change... even after years of knowing them... Are people willing to give those people another chance?
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Wow! I have a lot of friends, who if I judged them on their first impression and left it at that, we would probably not be friends.
ReplyDeleteI think this can be seen as selfish as well. We need people to serve some purpose for us, and if at first we feel as though they cannot serve that purpose, we turn away. Sometime maybe they even seem as though they will be harmful to us.
It's all about giving people the benefit of the doubt, even if you are unsure. Who knows, maybe you are helping someone out who is having a rough time.
Great post Kinna!
Thank you for your comment! I completely agree, never saw it that way, but it makes sense... And I also agree with "you may just be helping someone in need" part because you never know what people are struggling with. People have helped me without knowing it just by being kind or accepting me.
ReplyDeleteIt is too easy for people to pass judgement over other people. You do not even have to see them and you can catagorize them and think a certain way about them. It made me think about my brother and his girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI do not even know what she looks like and I was already putting her into the bad pile. For a while I thought she was the reason my brother was acting a certain way, I only thought that because he was telling me things I did not want to here. I blamed someone I have never seen or met and now as he plans to officially make her a part of the family I need to give her a second chance. I will not lie it will be hard but I am open to it.
You also made me think about other relationships I hold and how I see people. There are definitely some changes I need to make. Thanks for opening my eyes.
I think this is something we truely need to think about.. It doesn't make us "bad" people, it just comes so naturally... but I don't think it makes it right. I even almost disagree that when you apply for jobs, and you look bad on paper, or had "one sentence off" that you just get thrown away...
ReplyDeleteIt's all jus interesting to think about, and maybe try to apply it to our lives. Sure, we should stay somewhat 'guarded' but why not attempt to get to know people better, whether it's a first impression, or a 7th or 8th...
Thanks for replying Mamie! I love you my dear and good luck with everything!